


Item # 2232673307 a.k.a. Alex's Revenge

by AmazonX



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-07
Updated: 2004-04-07
Packaged: 2019-06-19 07:57:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15505860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazonX/pseuds/AmazonX
Summary: Alex was just a little more pissed than we were led to believe.





	Item # 2232673307 a.k.a. Alex's Revenge

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Glass Onion](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Glass_Onion), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Glass Onion’s collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/glassonion/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Oh, Ursula had to go and send me the link for Langly's t-shirt. So, here we are, finally at the proper rating. So many people liked Alex naked, that I decided to continue that. And we know Alex would never let this just go, would he? And so many people, Erika, were a little sad there was no sex, so I gave you that. And Ali wanted Byers-sex. So there's that. Everyone should just enjoy themselves. Amy, this is for reminding me I'm good at sequels! And Erynn, I'm nice to Byers, do me a solid with the Rat, yes? No beta, I like the fuckups.  
>  Category: Rat revenge, Gun Angst, fucking this time!

  
Author's notes: Oh, Ursula had to go and send me the link for Langly's t-shirt. So, here we are, finally at the proper rating. So many people liked Alex naked, that I decided to continue that. And we know Alex would never let this just go, would he? And so many people, Erika, were a little sad there was no sex, so I gave you that. And Ali wanted Byers-sex. So there's that. Everyone should just enjoy themselves. Amy, this is for reminding me I'm good at sequels! And Erynn, I'm nice to Byers, do me a solid with the Rat, yes? No beta, I like the fuckups.  
Category: Rat revenge, Gun Angst, fucking this time!  


* * *

Item # 2232673307 a.k.a. Alex's Revenge

 

 

## Item # 2232673307 a.k.a. Alex's Revenge

### by Amazon X

**BROOKLYN PARK, MD**  
**LATE NIGHT**

Jimmy pumped harder, holding Byers' hips in a vice grip that would surely leave bruises. Byers kept begging for more, harder, faster. "Make me feel it for a week, Jimmy!" he shouted. 

Jimmy braced his arms on the bed and started to pound into Byers' ass with long, even strokes. Byers ground his hips into the bed, trying to get friction against his neglected member. 

"John, God, you're so tight," Jimmy moaned. He thrust a few more times and came explosively, filling the latex sheath around his cock. He collapsed on Byers' back, hugging the man and kissing his neck. "I love you, John." 

"I love you, too, Jimmy," he said quietly. He nuzzled into the mouth that laid small, butterfly kisses on his neck. It wasn't long before Jimmy had cleaned himself up and had Byers on his back, deep-throating his cock. Byers moaned loudly, loving every minute of Jimmy's lack of gag reflexes until the both jumped at the sound of the high-pitched girlie scream that reverberated through the house. Both men looked at each other for a moment before Byers pushed Jimmy's head back into his lap. Jimmy was more than happy to finish Byers off, drinking down every drop he had to offer. 

When the men had washed and dressed, they entered the office space to find a sight they didn't think they'd every see. The Ferret, a gaming buddy of Langly's, was there, dressed like her magic user character, but much more seductive than the drawing Langly had made for her. She was on the prowl that night, with the royal purple silk hugging her curves like a second skin. She was smirking while rubbing Langly's back. He was breathing deeply, inhaler in hand. 

"What was all the yelling about?" Byers asked, sitting at his computer, gently and everyone noticed. Jimmy ran behind a rack of equipment to sort mother board pieces before everyone saw his face flame in embarrassment. 

"Hair Boy got the shock of his life," Frohike said while typing furiously. 

"How did it happen this time?" Byers logged into his email, and it was flooded with inquiries about the "Validity of Item # 2232673307". He began opening them and a wave of fear passed over him. "What the hell is 'Item #2232673307' for crying out loud?" 

Langly gulped loudly. "My Ramones t-shirts. All of them..." Langly dropped his head on the desk and began to weep. The Ferret, whose real name was Kalia, smiled and shook her head. 

"Langly, this is your fault. You shouldn't have put the man's leather jacket on the internet. Serves you right!" She stood and slipped her wool cape over her shoulders. "Look, I have a scene to get to. If you want, get into your duds and meet me at the castle grounds, Lord Manhammer. Otherwise, I'm gone." 

She stood and Langly walked her to the door. Everyone bid her goodnight, Langly bending to kiss her hand and said, "Farewell, Lady Knight. Beat the shit out of 'em." 

"Motherfucker!" came the shout from across the room, causing Langly to jump as he was securing the last of the nine locks on the door. 

"Now what?" Byers asked, gingerly getting up to see why Frohike was hyperventilating. When he saw Frohike's screen, he began to laugh. The "seller" for "Item #2232673307, a "ratbastardsupreme" had updated the sale to include several vests worn by the "t-shirt-wearing hacker's hacker friend". The most prized pieces of Langly's and Frohike's wardrobes were laid out in thumbnail form for anyone to check out and bid on. The current total was up to four hundred and twenty dollars. "Well, it seems like our nemesis has gotten you boys right where you live. You deserve this. Now, you know what you need to do." 

"No fucking way!" Frohike shouted. "I'll bet he doesn't even..." Langly and Frohike looked at each other and their eye widened. The both jumped up and raced up the stairs to their respective rooms. Byers padded over to where Jimmy hid, laughing in the corner. They slipped their arms around each other to kiss until the inevitable double scream reverberated through the warehouse, igniting giggles in both men. 

When they came back down, Byers had composed himself and was back at his computer. "He got everything, didn't he?" 

Both men looked miserable. They'd never admit defeat. It was up to Byers to take the first step. 

* * *

**CRYSTAL CITY, VA**  
**SAME NIGHT**

Krycek gripped the pillow tightly as Skinner held hip hips still to get his angle better as he pounded into Krycek's ass. Krycek was beyond words, only able to grunt in time with the fast, deep thrusts. Skinner leaned over and bit into the tender flesh of Krycek's throat, only marring the long, thick column of muscle with a bruise of his teeth. Krycek howled and came, thrusting his hips into the bed. Skinner followed him down, flooding Krycek's ass with his seed. 

Skinner kissed Krycek's neck, soothing the bruise that would become ugly by morning. He'd decided years ago that if Alex wanted something, he would do it, no matter what he thought of it. They lay together, kissing and wrestling, getting out the last bits of energy to sleep the sleep of truly exhausted men. They didn't count on the phone ringing to interrupt their post-coital sparring. 

Skinner reached over and grabbed the handset. "Skinner," he growled into the receiver. 

"Mr. Skinner, its John Byers. I'm calling about a certain matter that...I..." 

"Byers, we settled this when you brought the rest of the clothes over to weeks ago," he said, sighing as Alex began trying to get Little Walt to play again. 

"It seems that Mr. Krycek has held a grudge. There's a new auction up at Ebay and it's got my two colleagues up in arms. I've sent you an email link to the page, if you'll be so kind to log on..." 

"Byers, it's late. I'm...busy," he said before gasping as an agile tongue teased his hole. 

"I see," Byers said. "I was similarly engaged earlier this evening when I was rudely interrupted, as well. The matter still stands that my colleagues would like their wardrobe back. If Mr. Krycek would be amenable to a meeting to settle this matter, I will contact you in the morning to set up an appointment." 

"Tomorrow, Byers," he said before slamming the phone down. Skinner reached for Krycek's shoulders to haul the man up to face him. "Are you sure you want to put that tongue there? Or could it be put to better use somewhere else?" 

"What did you have in mind, Big Boy?" Krycek drawled, feeling Skinner pushing on his shoulders. 

"Down your throat, now!" he commanded as Krycek went to work. I would be a long night before either man slept. 

* * *

The next day, Byers reluctantly pulled himself from Jimmy's warm embrace. Jimmy rolled over and groaned. The buzzer sounded again and Byers knew who it was. He slipped from the bed, laying one last kiss on Jimmy's lips and watched as the big man rolled over and sighed deeply. Clothed in his hastily donned pajamas and bathrobe, Byers padded to the door and looked at the surveillance monitor. He smiled when he saw Skinner standing there with Krycek, both men holding boxes. Byers shook his head as he opened the door. 

"Gentlemen, please come in. I just woke up but I'm going to make some coffee. Come upstairs and sit with me for a cup." Byers locked the door behind them and started toward the stairs to the kitchen. Both men followed, Krycek inordinately silent. "Gentlemen, sit while I make the coffee, please." 

"I will, but someone else will find it very difficult sitting down today." Krycek didn't acknowledge the statement. He just put the box down and took Skinner's box from his hands and put that on top. He stood back and waited. Skinner sat at the table and they both were quiet as Byers measured coffee into the machine. Both men had been guests at Chez Gunmen enough to be thankful it was Byers making the coffee. 

Langly wandered in, rubbing his eyes, bathrobe hanging open, revealing a heavily faded Star Wars Phantom Menace t-shirt and teddy bear boxer shorts. He blindly reached for the coffee as Byers pushed him away, reminding him it was still brewing and he'd be burned if he pulled the pot out. Langly turned toward the table and finally noticed his guests. He was shocked awake seeing Krycek standing there, a burning look in his eyes. Langly's anger was cooled a bit by the fear of the dangerous man glaring at him. 

"I...uh...my t-shirts, dude, you got 'em?" he asked, turning to Skinner who looked vaguely bored. 

"Yes, one box is yours, the other is Frohike's. Is he here?" Skinner asked, looking down the hallway that led to the bedrooms, which were old converted offices and storage spaces. Langly and Byers looked at each other with a touch of fear and guilt in their eyes. They'd heard Frohike that morning, with his guest, and they both knew that the shock to Skinner could very well stop his heart. 

Byers served mugs of coffee to the men and while Skinner was stirring the sugar into his black coffee, he saw a door open and a flash of red hair as a short woman tried to sneak into the bathroom undetected. Skinner shook his head. Byers looked down at the big man and smiled. "Did you know?" 

"Not a clue until I saw her car outside. But I don't really care. Imagine what she'd say if she knew I was sleeping with Alex. She still blames him for Melissa, even though she knows that Alex was there trying to stop it. Anyway, tell her I hope she's happy." 

Langly snickered into his coffee. "She knows about your...bedmate, man. As long as you don't rag on her, she'll shut up about you." A low growl came from Krycek's throat. 

"OK, fine, then, you have your things back. Alex has all of his property. The Ebay auction has been cancelled and I believe we are finished, yes?" 

Frohike strolled into the kitchen, smoking jacket on, looking like the proverbial playboy. "Good morning, Walter. Alex." 

Another growl from Krycek. 

"Well, I'll just assume you've included all of my clothing in that box, yes? And our young friend as well?" he asked as he sipped from his "Porn Star" mug. 

"Look, you perverted dwarf," Krycek spat, "I only grabbed vests and t-shirts. I didn't leave you naked, did I? Not like you did to me." 

"As you were so eager to show us," Frohike pointed out. "No, and you have your things. We, I guess, have ours. Goodbye." 

"Frohike, that's not very polite," Jimmy admonished as he walked out of the bedroom, sweats and a t-shirt on, both featuring logos from the Dallas Cowboys. 

"Texas boy?" Skinner asked, indicating Jimmy's wardrobe. 

"Uh, yeah, UT Dallas, four years, liberal arts. You?" 

"Same, four years in Crime and Justice, Masters in Public Affairs and I started the Ph.D for Political Economy, but the academy accepted me. Nice to know I got a fellow Comet." 

"Sigma Alpha Epsilon." 

"Kappa Sigma." 

"No shit? Damn, they denied me." 

"OK, this is nice and all," Krycek interrupted. "But fratboy hour is over. I got things to do, you know?" He turned to Skinner and said, "Are we going?" 

Skinner stood and said, "Yes, I think we should leave. Thank you, Byers for the delicious coffee. Frohike, please tell Scully that her rear left tire needs some air. Don't let her drive all the way back to Georgetown on that. After a night with you, little man, I'm sure she's just a bit exhausted and shaky." 

Krycek snickered as Skinner pushed him out the door. Jimmy locked the door behind them and returned to his friends. Scully had emerged, looking amazingly fresh and well put-together, despite the group knowledge of how she sounded at two AM. Frohike was beating eggs, Langly was reading, and Byers was brewing a fresh pot of coffee. It was just another day. Again. 

The End 

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Fandom:  X-Files   
Title:   **Item # 2232673307 a.k.a. Alex's Revenge**   
Author:   **Amazon X**   [email]   [[website]](http://yankeestarbuck.tripod.com/)   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **NC-17**  |  **11k**  |  **04/07/04**   
Summary:  Alex was just a little more pissed than we were led to believe.   
Notes:  Oh, Ursula had to go and send me the link for Langly's t-shirt. So, here we are, finally at the proper rating. So many people liked Alex naked, that I decided to continue that. And we know Alex would never let this just go, would he? And so many people, Erika, were a little sad there was no sex, so I gave you that. And Ali wanted Byers-sex. So there's that. Everyone should just enjoy themselves. Amy, this is for reminding me I'm good at sequels! And Erynn, I'm nice to Byers, do me a solid with the Rat, yes? No beta, I like the fuckups.   
Category: Rat revenge, Gun Angst, fucking this time!   
Disclaimer/Other:  Not mine, never were, I have no money.   
Archive: The Basement, Full House Slash, Gossamer, WWOMB, and if I OKed when I signed up on the list, go for it. Anyone else, just tell me!   
Feedback: Why, yes, thank you!   
  



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